My Leap of Faith

     “I love the recklessness of faith. First you leap, and then you grow wings.”
      William Sloane Coffin

   God has a way of taking a series of seemingly singular and insignificant events and tying them together in a way that glorifies Him and leaves me speechless and in awe. I work at Howard Street Charter School. A middle school in Salem that strives to provide it's students with unique opportunities to grow in a variety of ways: as students, as individual people, and as integral members of a community. One of the things that we teach is taking a responsible risk, trying something that is outside of their comfort zone. A piece of this is taking our eighth grade students to the Salem Ropes Course at the YWAM base at the beginning of each year. The YWAM base is beautiful, with stunning trees and wilderness that provide a feeling that we have escaped the city; an oasis from the day-to-day life in Salem. At the ropes course each student has to trust their life into the hands of their classmates. As they are climbing trees, or working through an obstacle course twenty feet in the air each student comes to the end of themselves. Once they've reached the end of themselves they realize that they can go just a little bit further. This is the story of my walk with Jesus, I am constantly coming to the end of myself and instead of facing failure and isolation I find myself staring into the face of my savior as He gently guides my steps and takes me to places that should be impossible, but are very possible with God. Here's the catch, God doesn't force us to take those steps. He is right there calling us to take the leap, but we get to make the choice. Do I really believe that God has my best? Do I believe that God will meet me when I've taken that step past what I know, past what I'm capable of? I experienced this in a very real way this week at the YWAM base.
     For our last event of the day we were led up a series of steps. As we climbed higher we entered deeper and deeper into the woods. At the top of the stairs there was a wooden platform standing at least twenty feet high. The platform looked awkward against all of the untamed natural beauty surrounding it. This platform leads to a swing that sends you soaring into the trees around it. You cannot experience the rush of swinging through the air surrounded by God's creation without taking the plunge from the platform into thin air, the only thing keeping you from plummeting to the ground below is a cable attached to the harness that you are wearing. I watched as student after student sat on the edge of the platform and eventually fell off of the side to go soaring through the air. The time came for me to climb the log that would bring me to the top. I had decided that if I was going to do this I was going to do this all the way. I wasn't going to sit on the edge and simply fall. I was going to step off of the platform, step into thin air, step into the unknown where my feet cannot hold me, step where I am forced to trust. I received my directions:
     "put your hands through the loops and hold onto the rope like this and then you can go." I put my hands through the loops and clenched the rope attached to the cable that I was about to trust with my life.
     "Like this?"
     "Yes."
     "So I can go?"
     "Yes."
     "I can go whenever?"
     "Yes."
     "I can just step off of the platform?"
     "Yes." 

     At this point I realized that there was no other way that I could ask the question. It was time to go, but my mind was having a hard time undoing all that I had learned from my twenty-five years of life. I am supposed to stay away from edges, I could get hurt. There was literally no next step to take, yet it was time to take the next step. I wasn't being pushed, I wasn't sitting on the edge and scooting until I fell, I simply needed to take a step. Suddenly walking wasn't so easy anymore. I have been walking most of my life, and I honestly don't put a whole lot of thought into it, I just do it, but this time I was stepping into the unknown and suddenly a single step became an insurmountable task. My heart was racing, my body was shaking uncontrollably and everything within me was fighting the next step, but then I did it. I stepped into nothing, I stepped on empty air, and just as my twenty-five years of experience had told me I would, I began to fall.
     Sometimes taking a step in faith looks a lot like failure at first. I took the risk, I stepped into air, I faced my fear, and I ended up falling just like I was afraid I would. Then I came to the end of my rope. As I reached the end of my rope my harness yanked me out of my free fall and I was soaring, gravity had lost it's hold and I was flying. I could feel the wind rushing past me as I soared through the trees. When I was falling I couldn't exactly undo what I had done and I certainly couldn't quit, but sometimes taking a leap of faith isn't a single step, sometimes it's a series of steps. It often looks like God saying
     "Step here my daughter."
     "Step here my son."
     Only after the step is taken nothing happens, a step that seems so hard to take leads to God saying
     "Now step here, and then here, and then here."
     All of the sudden we don't know where we are, and something that we thought was going to be a quick leap of faith becomes a journey into the unknown. Now nothing is familiar and we feel lost. There are many different ways to respond to this: maybe we return to what we know, maybe we try to blaze our own trail through the fog, maybe we give up and quit living all together, or maybe we continue to have faith that the God who led us into the midst of this has a plan and will guide us through. I don't know about you guys, but my initial response to feeling lost and alone is to quit and hide under the covers. It's warm in my bed, and I know that I'll be safe. When I've quit, my decisions become about me. Instead of taking the steps that I know that I am supposed to take I seek comfort. Sin that I thought was gone creeps back into my life and before I know it the covers that seemed so safe and warm become a trap as I become entangled in the blankets. I am back to being limited by my weakness, when before my weakness was an opportunity for God to glorify his strength. This has been the last couple of months of my life without me really realizing what was happening. The wonderful thing is that God is always there. He is always calling us back to him, back into a life that is beyond ourselves, a life of looking into the eyes of our savior as he guides each step. It won't be without trial, but it won't be without joy either. Sometimes it looks like waiting, but He is always with us through the waiting and the disbelief. It almost always looks entirely different than we expect, but that's what happens when we step into the unknown, and it's usually above and beyond what we could imagine. He is always with us, and we will always find Him at the end of our rope. We simple need to continue taking each step of faith as He paves the way before us.

  

Q&Q 2013

Questions:

Am I a shepherd or a shepherd watcher?

Will I obey God despite the outcome?

If I'm not fishing am I really following Jesus?

What does taking responsibility for our generation look like?

How do we become the church that the world can't live without?

How can we provide our generation with a vision?

What's the tide that God wants to bring in?

Am I aware of my inherent strengths as a woman?

What is my purpose in this season?

Do I believe that God really wants the best for me?

Who do you say I am?

How do we balance form and freedom?

How can I understand the supernatural  if I am bound by the natural?

Do we build the team around the roles, or the roles around the team?

What systems need to be in place for young adults?

What is my time commitment for young adults?

Will I trust God to write my love story?

Quotes:

"The more child-like we are the quicker we adjust."

"There are people who are thrown into the pit with the lion, and there are those who jump into the pit."

"God gives the what before the how."

"Sometimes we are awkward huggers when it comes to the grace of God"

"The right thing at the wrong time becomes the wrong thing."

"We don't put our trust in a plan, we put our trust in Jesus."

"The difference between compassion and sympathy is action."

"The greatest thing that I could ever do for the crowds I lead is getting alone with God."

"Youth ministry is when the youth are doing the ministry."

"God didn't call us so that we can be successful, He called us to be faithful."

"Don't examine the bible, let the bible examine you."

"One of the worst things to do for college ministry is to have a college ministry."

"If Bruce says to read a book, read it!"

"When we walk in humility we have unity."

"Expectations kill gratefulness."

"When eternity is involved there is more than till death do us part at stake. There is the very heart of God for the rest of the world to see."

"We don't have a marriage problem, we have a faith problem."

"Every generation has to have its own prophetic voice."

"You don't marry the person that you can live with, you marry the person that you can't live without. We can't be the church that the world can live with, we need to be the church that the world can't live without."

"There's something about a goal that makes discipleship make sense."

"A rising tide floats all boat, whether yachts or leaky rowboats. We are the tide of this generation."

"If I am not filled with the holy spirit I am filled with something else."

"If you try to find intimacy with another person before achieving a sense of identity on your own, all your relationships become an attempt to complete yourself."

"We need to practice the basics before jumping into the thing that we want to do."

"It takes a lot of trust to get someone who is wounded to reveal their wound."

"Wounded people tend to get stuck emotionally in the place where they were wounded."

"What if God didn't give us marriage to make us happy, but to make us holy?"

"There's a time to pray, and a time to have sex." -Bruce

"Life is change, growth is optional."

"Truth without love is attacking. Love without truth is avoiding. We need truth in love mingled with grace."

"Our willingness to wait reveals how much we value what we are waiting for."

"If you complain you remain, if you praise you raise."

"Biblical waiting involves expectations."

"God gives us suddenlies and little-by-littles."

"Patience is the difference between trying faith and doing faith. It is having a spirit that refuses to surrender to circumstance."

"Fear, worry, and rejection are all a form of pride; they rob our peace and joy."

"Gifts from God are to be used for others and community. A season of singleness is a gift from God, and should be used for community."

"Conflict is like fire, it can either burn you horribly or it can illuminate your path."

"If a leader casts a new vision without changing systems nothing happens."

"The only thing that will be sustainable is something that people are willing to commit to."

"Spiritual maturity is measured by how readily we respond to the person of God rather than the promises of God. It involves coming to the place where who is asking is more important than what we are being asked to do."